Seek to Understand

In 2006, author and leadership guru Stephen Covey, wrote Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s not gospel but does offer some helpful principles to consider. Habit 5 reads – “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Of course, that is essentially the truth taught in James 1:19 – “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” The point is to hold your opinions as you guard your tongue motivated by a desire to draw out another person and truly get to know them. It’s amazing how many people don’t keep this in mind and, knowingly or unknowingly, end up hurting people around them. I can assure you of this – nobody likes to be misunderstood or have assumptions made about them. If you truly want to care for others, let this Biblical truth and practical advice, saturate your soul – learn to ask good questions, be a good listener … even if it means that you go unknown. Here’s the beauty of this truth in deep and lasting relationships – when two people seek to understand over being understood, they both end up feeling known and loved. Take a moment to reflect on how you speak, pursue and love others … is this what they experience from you?